Kaylania's Blog

Luke 6:28 says it best in the Bible: “Bless them that curse you, and pray for them which despitefully use you.”  I will be honest, this is the MOST DIFFICULT things that I have ever had to do in my Christian walk.  No matter how saved or gifted I am, it is the most challenging.  Not because I don’t want to forgive or bless those that do me wrong, but because of the years of pain I have endured over the past 31 years of my life with being mistreated, rejected, and abused.  The truth is…our feelings really have nothing to do with us at all.  People get their feelings hurt all the time, and that sure doesn’t stop the devil from using people, either.  The obvious approach to dealing with people who intentional use us is to seek revenge.  I will be honest…that is something that I use to do in my past.  Try to find ways to get back at the offender.  As I have grown in maturity, the Lord has taught me how to defend for myself with the Word of God and the Spirit of Love.  There is nothing like giving your 110% to a relationship, ministry, career, friends, etc. and you end up with hot coals in your hand.  I have a powerful testimony that I am going to share with all of you at a later date.  The things that I have gone through should have had me locked up in a mental institution for the rest of my life.  God has a tremendous purpose for me and I have to constantly remind myself of why I am here on this Earth.

All of us have a devine purpose here on this Earth to do the Will of the Lord…whether you believe in God or not.  Since the beginning of time, there was shame.  When Adam and Eve took a bit of the fruit, their eyes became open and they were ashamed that they were naked.  God was hurt that they were disobedient!  Imagine hurting God, compared to how we hurt, use, and abuse each other.  Unless you have a powerful gift of mercy and grace, it’s not easy to love those who intentionally hurt you.  I have had many experiences over the past few months with “church folk.”  I always examine myself  and see where I fit into the equation to see if I am being tested or just plain “tried”.  The devil’s goal is to ultimately get me out of church, from under covering, so he can get me back into the world to kill me.  That is real.  However, I have put on my boxing gloves and refuse to allow anyone to move me out of position.  Some of you may have been in a long term relationship and found out that your spouse had an affair.  Imagine that.  All the years you were together: loving, fighting, holding, smiling, crying, etc. and they up and leave you or sleep with someone else other than you.  That is painful.  I have been on both the receiving and giving end of that.  I can’t say “It was all HIS fault.”  I was guilty of some things too!

There will be times in your life when folks will just take every broken wound you have, put salt on it, then vinegar, then gasoline, and light a flame to watch you burn.  You may ask yourself, “Why in the world would I forgive anyone who did THIS to me?”  The answer is simple.  JESUS!  Mark 11:25 says: “And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.”  Believe it or not…no person on this planet is perfect enough to say that they do not struggle in an area of SOMETHING.  Unforgiveness is a SIN.  Folks think that murder, fornication, hate, etc are serious sins, but in God’s eyes…sin is sin.  I will be real.  I have invested a lot of time and energy in relationships, working on projects for people, and things; all to have it all blown up in my face with them turned around wanting me to kiss their back parts.  Let me ask you a question?  What if God told you to bless someone who was in need of something, and only you had the resources and gifts to make it happen for them…all to end up they used and mistreated you so bad to the point where you forgot your name?  Would you be able to forgive them then…even if God TOLD you to bless them?  Guess what?  Count it all joy!  If God trusted you enough to bless them, then that means that you can be used by Him.  Whether or not they respond “correctly” really has nothing to do with you.  I know a nice pat on the back or a “friendship” may be what you are seeking, but some things are seasonal, and you can’t take everything with you. 

We cannot put a price tag on blessings. OUCH!  I know that hurt, but its so true.  John 5:22 says: “The Father judges no one, but has given all judgment to the Son,”.  Ecclesiastes 12:14 also says: “For God will bring every deed into judgment, with every secret thing, whether good or evil.”  God may be testing your posture in the situation.  The way that you respond now may determine how He will bless you later.  The devil sets us up sometimes!  Many of you may never have thought of things this way, but check this out.  Suppose the Lord told you to bless Elder Mary (as an example)in the church, with a ride to the store 3 times a week.  Elder Mary does not have reliable transportation, and the Lord told you to open up a few time slots to bless her. You being to take her where she needs to go, and things seem great for a while.  All o a sudden Elder Mary no longer needs your “help” and suddenly stops calling you and pretends like she doesn’t know you anymore.  This is a person that you blessed.  If your motives were genuine, it wouldn’t matter if Miss Mary returned her generosity.  What you end up doing is slandering Miss Mary’s name and telling people what a wretched person she is (whether its true or not).  Miss Mary is annointed and an evangelist.  The bible says “Touch not my annointed and do my prophets NO harm.  The devil will set you up with talking about one of God’schosen and annointed, so you can curse your own self! Even if she was wrong…the Bible says NO HARM. Human nature and instinct is of course to be hurt. This does not excuse her behaviour.  God sees it, and HE will deal with it appropriately. It hurts.  God is looking at the fact that you were obedient!  Honestly, you have to lead the judgement to the Lord.  We are in no position to do that…AT ALL!

Sure it may hurt, but you will need the strength of the Lord to pull you together. Sometimes we feel like we need to SEE God get revenge on those who hurt us.  The fact of the matter is…if it pleases the flesh to see someone get hurt in return, we are no better than they are!  I have had pastors, friends, family, and co-workers just pick me up and SLAM me.  And after I was slammed…they kicked me and rolled me in the mud.  This is not in the PHYSCIAL, but in the natural and spirit.  Only by God’s grace was I able to withstand some of the trials that I have faced.  I know if I did it…so can you.  Have you ever asked God to cover your emotions under the Blood of Jesus?  Our emotions are very tricky!  Sometimes what we FEEL may not be FOR REAL! That’s why God called them “emotions”.   They last but a minute.  Whatever someone has done to you that was painful…turn it into a testimony!  There is nothing like whipping the devil in the forehead by reacting in love and forgiveness.  You may never see then again, but tell God that you RELEASE them and no longer hold them accountable for what they did.  What you have gone through may be designed to help someone else out.  Your life is worth so much value!  Please, don’t allow yourself to become boxed into a life of pain, rejection, and unforgiveness.  RELEASE them, and God thank you!  Let the Lord fight your battles for you sometimes…that’s what He is there for!  SMILE!