Kaylania's Blog

What is a silent dispute, you ask?  This is a controversial topic and I have seen pastors preach on this message plenty of times, yet no one gets it.  Most things that go on in the church are hidden.  This is one of my favorite topics because most people do not like to even acknowledge what is going on in the congregation.  A silent dispute in the church is an area or issue where there is tension, debate, or disagreement with members, people, or leaders.  There could be someone who is mad at a person in the church, and does little manipulative things to the other person that the pastor or other members can’t see or recognize.  Sometimes, one person, or both parties are in aught with each other, and are fighting over a position, title, or role.  Other times it has nothing to do with what is going on inside of the church, but those individuals may have already had issues and when they come to church, they argue, bicker, fight, and complain, but do it silently.

Have you ever sat in the church, and the pastor or minister began preaching a particular message, and you hear certain people screaming things like:

‘YEA!  THAT’S RIGHT!’
‘TELL ‘EM PASTOR’
‘MM HMM SHOLE NUFF’
‘YES, YES, YES!’
‘COME ON! EXPOSE IT!’
‘DON’T HURT THEIR FEELINGS PASTOR’
‘THEY DON’T KNOW WHO THEY’RE MESSING WITH’
..ETC.

Sometimes, these screams and yells are not always because the person is in agreement with the pastor or message.  Sometimes these gestures are not only because the message that has gone forth is on a personal level, or because they are in the Holy Spirit,  but because:

• Something bad happened between them and another person(s), so they want them to “hear” them yell, clap, and react.
• They “heard” something about someone and instead of ignoring the gossip or getting the answer for themselves, they treat the person strange and mean.
• They want attention

The other tidbits you see people do are:

• Clap very loudly when the pastor preaches a message that is pertaining to the situation that the individuals are going through, so the person that they are mad at can see them or want to be punished SEES them to “show them a thing or two”.
• Aggravates the person while they are trying to “go in” while in worship
• Tries to “over-pray” or “out-pray” that person loudly to drown out their praise (This is a form of Jezebel and a spirit of Python)
• Jumps up and down and starts screaming when the pastor preaches a message that is pertaining to the situation that the individuals are going through, so the person that they are mad at can see them and want to be punished SEES them to “show them a thing or two”
• You want to do something in the ministry, but whomever is mad at you or jealous of you tries to prevent you by intimidating you or making you feel left out.

These are just a FEW things that I have noticed, and I will be honest…I have found myself doing it too.  God told me that this is immature on my part and it is wrong.  What other people do is their business. If I have beef with someone in the church, it is best for me to go to that person and tell them how I feel if I am hurt or angry.  What does the bible say about handling disputes and arguments with people?

Matthew 18

15“If your brother sins against you,^b go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. 16But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’^c 17If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.

Unfortunately, I have even seen pastors and leaders do this!  Instead of pulling that person or person(s) aside and dealing with the situation properly, they broadcast it through a “message” in a sermon or in a Bible Study group.  I shake my head at this, but I choose to keep my mouth shut, because I don’t want to ever talk bad about those in authority!  I am guilty of doing some of these things too.  God has been dealing with me over the past few weeks about this issue because He has told me that I am a lady.  No matter how anointed or gifted someone else is…they still have faults.  We all have issues.  This can be very dangerous to new members or babes in Christ.  You will be surprised at how many people decide not to come back to church when they see tension between people or when there is a spirit of disunity.  If I wasn’t saved, and I came into a church like that, I wouldn’t want to stay either.

I am NOT saying that every time we say “Yes’, “Amen” or Clap it is against someone!  We can agree with a message however we choose fit.  The message that I am replying is that if there is tension, jealousy, strife, or any other issues between you or someone…squash and do not embarrass yourself by acting like a child.  These actions are very immature in the body of Christ.  I have felt the Holy Spirit grieved when these things happen.  Why not let God handle the issues and discipline the people?  If someone is out of order…go to the leadership or go to them in  love.  Not only are you hurting God, but you hurt those around you.  Vengeance is God’s job.  Being in a state of tension and debate is very dangerous.  Acting and role-playing anger in the form of rejoicing in the Holy Spirit is a dangerous place to be.  Believe it or not, these actions are leading you right into the spirits of Jezebel, Strife, Disunity, Resentment, Anger, Foul-Play, Discord, and Malice.  Have you heard the old saying…”If you can’t say something nice…don’t say it at all?” and “Loose Lips, Sinks Ships”. Some folks need to have that printed on a t-shirt.  I have been through and seen the pastor preach a prophetic message, and the word was in reference to a situation. As soon as the pastor preaches or touch on that subject…someone screams loud and claps their hands.  Then other other person who is mad at them jumps up and down and reacts the same way when another part of the Word comes forth.   This is so silly.  I know some of you who are reading this are upset, but that’s ok.  The truth hurts, but it will also set you free.

I, by no means, am telling you to focus on petty issues not relevant to the house of the Lord.  This is very real!  We have to become united as the body of Christ instead of acting like we have never experienced Jesus. Regardless of what you see or experience regarding this subject, please stay in prayer and the attitude of worship.  There is nothing more joyful than to see your foe become your friend by loving them despite of how they feel about you.  Please.  Don’t put your battles on public display!